Sunny days & Starry nights ... Wednesday, January 11, 2012
ive been thinking of youth. how i should be spending it, to be exact. it suddenly dawned on me that i am 22. not 22 as mere numbers, but 22 as a stage in life. it struck me that i am at the peak of my youth, and it scares me that i will be 25 in 3 years. thats what i perceive to be the downward of youth. its like suddenly, im standing at the tip top of the mountain and things around are tellign me... This, is the time.
hence a while ago i have been fraught with feelings of regret. of loss. of helplessness. thats plainly becos i have sold my youth already, when i was 19. im not going to lament about how a 19 year old was suppose to know what life is. it was how it was. but i can allow myself to feel towards how the next 4 years of my life is going to be spent. 2012 july i get trained in education. 2013 july i enter the workforce. 2014 july 2015 july then 2016 july -- i get liberated. a good 26 year old. that's it. im cringing right now.
people who are 21 worry about how old they have become and they spend their youth worrying about ageing. there cant be any better way to waste youth than not living it. i want to live my youth to the fullest. i want to live without obligations. i want to follow my heart. that 22years to 25 years of my life- I want to live life.
what does living life mean? and why did i set it to be 25. can it be 30? i need to search around for answers and directions. what i know is i dont want to spend my youth working so hard that in the end, i regret not living. i dont want to spend, my life, working and forgetting to fulfil my dreams.
maybe those 4 years in education can become meaningful. i just need to think how i can make it so. suddenly im reminded of this- whatever you want to do, do it when you are young. sometimes i cant help but agree that youth is wasted on the young.
is life about learning? then... learning is living? so wherever i am as long as i keep sparking knowledge and learning, im living life? i think the value of what you learn depends on the opportunities in your path. i need to find reasons for where i will be these 4 years. wrah
& Lazy afternoons ...
10:04 PM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
