Sunny days & Starry nights ... Monday, October 24, 2011
So, what have I been chasing these 2 years and 2 odd months?
I think I'm so ashamed of how I'm living that I've chosen to live in self delusion. for too long, even I'm ignorantly deceived.
For the first 18 years of my life, I've been chasing papers. And my track record has been my pride. It defined me.
At 19 when I stepped into where I am now, I thought I was done. Unbeatable. Destination reached. to study psych had been my goal and then that I had gotten in barriers free, I really thought I was done. That was it.
And that's probably when everything started going downhill. Scarily under the illusion that I was in fact moving on.
I struggled. I got lost. For a good 2years, my achievements were nil. I achieved my short term pleasures of enjoyment, yes.
But today, I realize those are no achievements. Not when they can be easily forgotten without a trace.
3.39. I want to be honest. I am ashamed of my results. I think the people around me look down on me. I have been preaching things I myself oppositely believes in.
& Lazy afternoons ...
6:46 PM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
