Sunny days & Starry nights ... Wednesday, March 23, 2011
feeling a tad tired mentally tonight n havent been so in a while. its week 10 already and i have had enough freestyle this sem. letting go of my obligations, minimal commitments, passing days as they go and enjoying the journey. it was wonderful. and i have been asking myself why can't my uni life be carefree like that. with study bites enough for me to learn, and leisure time enough for me to fine tune my inner soul, and social time for my activities. life has been feeling so wholesome and i had the luxury to think about myself and what i am doing. it actually feels so good deciding what to do with my time, instead of being pushed to move with the crowd. like- termpaper deadline tomorrow, test next week, readings tonight... all these make what i do meaningless. meaningless. and what's the meaning in doing something meaningless? studying and reading becomes a chore, social activities become obligations, and even when you are doing what you like, you feel like you need to be working. doesnt that sound all too familiar?
and i dislike seeing my friends a shadow of who they are in school, mulled by the sad fact that there are always people better on the bell curve and if no hard work is given now, the future will therefore be bleak. i dislike my friends neglecting their friends unintentionally as they are so caught up in the rat race already n that leaves no room on the brain for friendly concerns. i dislike it most when people go " i have no choice. "
why must we be slaves to structures and work our guts out? there is some thrill and adrenaline rush as you complete yet another ordeal but still... why make those sacrifices???
right now, i cannot seem to find a reason why the pleasures in life should be traded off for academic achievement. if what matters is the journey, then slogging is definitely not the right way. but what if the destination is what that matters? i just gotta say, upon reaching the destination, so what? you are just going to eye another destination cos you are never going to be contented.
now, i think it's only wise to slow things down and make the most out of the present, being fully engaged in what i am doing and not doing anything more. but i gotta admit, it's not easy when everything else around you paces in a pace more frantic than yours. the choice is mine, and i will not give up my ideals and succumb to the pressures of the ongoing rat race. my baseline is : the journey shall not be compromised for the destination.
.
thinking back, i have alws been drilled with the idea that without hard work, there wouldn't be results. tian di xia mei you bu lao er huo de shi. yes, hard work is essential for results to show, but, there is definitely a need for balance. workaholics nono.
& Lazy afternoons ...
9:46 AM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
