Sunny days & Starry nights ... Thursday, September 09, 2010
today is a day i will never forget , and it probably marks another attainment in the maturity bank.
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so, really, the stress was tremendous and it has been a long long while since i last felt stress of this magnitude. acute stress is killing, and it totally , sucks. it feels horrible standing at the breaking point, it feels horrible being responsible for a million things and having things go wrong, it feels horrible to see everyone else happy when you are having a zillion ants running inside, it feels downright disgusting, and i think, i haven't felt this way before.
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it is not easy , and i have learnt so many important lessons in one fell swoop. maybe experience do come only when things go wrong. the clash of booking, the late arrival of food, the lack of manpower, the inability to get people to listen , all the things that are not within my control ... they are beyond my capacity to handle, and the only way out was to succumb and pick up the pieces from there. the tension was that high, and that unnecessary.
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what i need is more training to decrease my emotional vulnerablity and to stand firm in times of a storm. and in order for me to grow into that, the learning will not come easy and i will have to go through so much more crap to get out stronger. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but what if it really did kill you?
& Lazy afternoons ...
11:02 AM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
