Sunny days & Starry nights ... Friday, July 30, 2010
i have savoured many different feelings and brewed many different thoughts over the past few days but i just cldn't find the moment to capture them here, so here, let me try reopening those windows... starting frm ... wed ! which i had a wholesome day seeing and experiencing ;)
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wed started off w praxis which saw full attendance of 5 kids as compared to 2 last week ;) It occurred to me that there really are children who are different and special and need help to bridge them thru' their inborn imperfectities. I have been used to seeing healthy normal children and the mornign brought me to ponder about the many things that could hav gone wrong in a developing child - motor/speech/social etc. Then i thought... it really isn't easy growing up :x so many milestones to overcome, so much to learn. I think it spurred me to read up abt dvlpmental psychology to gain an understanding of the physical dvlpment of a child.
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following the mornin group, i headed to outram for a socialskillsgroup parents briefing. an eye opener it was. first of all, im deeply impressed by the knowledge shared abt social skills and how autistic children are missing out on those and need guidance to learn them, and how inspirin the psych was and how spurred the parents were aft the briefing. It's like taking a look into the lives of this group of minorities and seeing things from their perpectives. i really like what was shared and the many food for thoughts ;) I find it v purposeful n meaningful ;) it makes me feel this is where i want to be and what i want to be doing :) i hope i do not loose this spark of motivation and direction when the studying n workload comes in .
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on thurs morn it was a soc bidding event n i guess i was too overwhelmed myself to be fulfilling the main purpose of my visit :x hmm lesson learnt to contain my excitement and behave more in a more mature manner !
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then then YAYYness a full day of bonding w ppl i cherish ;) n my very first time driving on my own and sending my two friends home. It almost felt like a milestone. We pondered over many da dao lis in life but i just can't seem to get back into that now, but i believe we hav all grown up alot over the years which we havnt kept in contact with one another. it's like we missed the most important puzzle in each other's lives and we had to spend much time detailing what we had gone thru' without each other. these are the friends i met in 2003 . i think that's really amazing.
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today i went for the very first play session n i see many opportunities and rooms for improvement :) i hope i can work on this .
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a few days back ... guess what... i received the letter from obs i wrote to myself exactly one year back, at the moment when life was still an empty piece of land and when i had a rosy sketch of the house i thought i was about to build. i can't rmb the contents of the letter very well alr, so now... i'm preparing myself to revisit the intensity of those thoughts. im going to open the letter now.
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Here's the letter to myself:
the first sentence went' dearest wyn how much have you moved on from 4 july09? yes 4 july, and today is 30 july 2010. one whole year of a brand new life. let me read on... i am expecting and am afraid to find answers to my past ; but all the more intrigue to realise what i have overcome. hello to my 19 year old!
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i think i rmb the questions we had to answer in the letter. how do you want to dvlp personally, culturally, spiritually and professionally? and i saw this ' you are like a teabag; you don't know how strong you are until you are in hot water' very very very apt. and the 3 thigns i want to achieve 0ne year ago: become an effective person ( i think i meant outstanding/impactful, just not normal), but always true ( not forsaking my beliefs) and lastly, to always 饮水思源 . hmm yes those 3 are still my goals but i find it a lil' bewildering now, that i had actyll lost myself when school started last year n i don't find myself the helmsman of my ship. it reminds me of another quote i came across during obs ' the wind propels, but i am helmsman', to me that means circumstances can push you to move and change, but you are the one who decides where to go. apt, i have exactly missed that in year one, my lousy year one. i was being blown in all directions by a very strong wind.
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then the last question, what's holding me back? i wrote fear, confidence and lack of conviction. and i think i hav conquered confidence, trying to take fear in my hands and challenging to commit myself now. in a way, yes, i have moved on :) by a substantial mile ;)
& Lazy afternoons ...
8:25 AM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
