Love makes the World go round!

Sunny days & Starry nights ... Monday, July 12, 2010

friends made at different stages of life miraculously bring back fond or not so fond recollections of myself during those periods. old friends remind me of the things i have once missed out in life and the many things i have neglected. they make me rethink of the approach i took towards life and prompt me to live in a more well rounded way.
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just tonight, i finally met up with the people who were once a part of my life - the lowest point in life thus far. perhaps not the lowest, but definitely not the rosiest. from these people, i gained a window into the self i was when i was 17 or 18. It makes me a little upset to realise how un-adventurously i had led those 2 years in school. it even scares me a bit to talk to them as they bring up pieces in me that i had not even realised i had put away; pieces that i rather not admit were part of me; the self i feel that i don't want anymore.
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adding on, these friends provided me with hints of answer to the issues i was dealing with and probably issues that are still pertinent now. i have to admit that i have never tried giving a piece of me to this clique-ship. i never saw them as a part of my life and gave them the importance they should receive. I did not give, neither did i take. perhaps in short, my 2 years in school had passed just that superficially.
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this brings me to another thought. giving and taking. my bear friend shared today that one does not only need to give, but also take. for a relationship to work, you must also know how to depend on the other person and allow the other party a part of yourself. sometimes we are just so emotionally independent that we see no need to rely on any one, and if that is let on to persist, we will very well lose the ability to depend on any body at all. is that a bad thing to happen? am i also unable to share my life with others?
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then again, this may be the reason why i found it so difficult to assimilate into hall life. the more people tried to close in , the more i retreated into myself. perhaps i was refusing the entry of people into my private space ? when stayin in hall, i never felt that i was really there. it's a very awful feeling, like you just can't get yourself to live in that very moment and you always feel that you belong somewhere else. perhaps, what i needed then was just some alone time to get back that bit of social control. hmm....
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i feel that there are still so much to learn about people, and dealing with them. i am now working on keeping friends who are close to my heart, and eventually i will move on to friends whom i have lost and friends whom i still want to keep.
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time can really do a lot, that's why we need to put in the effort to spend every day with good meaning ;)
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my thoughts have been revolving around me me and me lately, but yes, i need to know me myself first before i allow others to know me !

& Lazy afternoons ...
9:48 AM :D

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.