Love makes the World go round!

Sunny days & Starry nights ... Friday, July 09, 2010

and so, the week of camp-ing is over !

it started off with some 'mentor bonding' w identity design session on monday day 0 and the trial-ing of some other games, memorably MI. then came one night of un-fitful sleep preceding day 1. the new faces came streaming in and it occurred to me that yes, im taking charge of a group, im already a snr, and i need to step up to the role of integrating the freshies in. so along w 2 other comrades we started ice breakers n a rnd of self intro, like how all camps are supposed to start. it certainly wasn't my forte breaking the ice n leading cheers to bring up the atmosphere, so i learn. but still, it was a good try.
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somehow amidst all that i learned things about myself and chanced about things that i nvr knew abt myself, which set me ponderin thru' a whole new set of questions. and so upon the culmination of the camp this afternoon, i concluded that im really in-apt at forming emotional bonds with large groups of ppl. im certainly more task focused than ppl focused. Reason being, although i was w the group say most of the time, i still do not know the individuals and at more than one instance, i find myself trying to hide away frm the crowd for some me time. It isn't easy for me to rahrah along w the freshies n speak up during the so called htht that night. I still cannot figure out why. and i hope they do not mistake my silence for something else other than a mild degree of helplessness. hmm. probably i rlly take some time to warm up . or maybe i just didnt put in enough emotions into this group. i couldnt feel sad durin the farewell moment, i didnt knw how to communicate w the freshies on an individual lvl, i find it hard to emphatise w them when they were sharin their thoughts on a fellow comrade n gettin some fun out of her antics which put ppl off. These are just not the things i do and maybe they make me retreat further into myself. hence, i had alr shut off my emotional power.
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but all in all, i can say i had tried my best to fulfil my role as a facil - by being the source of information n probably directions. i hope that's enough for now.
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ANW

my sister has returned to nz and my cousins hav returned for a short vacation this week. It was a good decision to take a day away frm camp n spend that time w my family. I like it when im able to make that bit of difference - at this juncture bringin the bday boy's sister to get party stuff n makin the dinner as party like as possible. i like how just by using a bit of brain juice n makin that extra effort, ppl are happy as a result ;) it was a good wednesday n the night was memorable w the pinata n cake n candies. although i'd like to spend more time w all of them, gettin that quality bit has alrdy made me contented. i guess my strength lies in guiding younger ones.

AND
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i certainly do not like how easily i get jealous over things. n how so easily i pass judgement on people.butbut judgements usually help me n they are usually correct, it probably is my defence mechanism working. hohoho.

& Lazy afternoons ...
4:42 AM :D

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.