Sunny days & Starry nights ... Wednesday, December 09, 2009
As quickly as time would allow, as quickly as the sweeping wind that clears your path, it's DeCeMbeR 2009; we have come to the end of the first year in all its novelty.
I do not have joyous things to report or record, but instead, i find myself roughened in all ways possible through my ordeal-like semester in school. I really hate to admit it, but i feel like... i have lost my battle.
I have certainly changed in a way i do not like. I have been caught up so much with the hustle and bustle of everything that i have failed to reflect. I have not lived my life to the fullest. I have not been happy. I have not been able to try at all. I have failed.
I will not ask how different things could be; i choose to treat it all like a bad dream. Or maybe , rather, i wish i can.
I should have seen it coming from the very moment tell-tale signs surface; that i wasn't meant for this kinda weathering, that this wasn't the kind of person i wish to become, that the life i was leading is definitely not a life i would allow myself to lead. To have allowed myself to reach this point where i am, I have failed, quite badly.
And again, i remind myself, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. But really, does it?
I think i got killed , big time.
killed by the negativity that has taken a liking to me .
the slush of not-so-rosy events have honestly stolen naivity away from me and burst the happy bubble i was so happily residing in. BOO. Why.
such helplessness to function. such helplessness to do what i really want. such helplessness...
i think i was suffering from dysthemia for a moment- disinterest in moving, in anything.
HOWEVER...
the very fact that i am typing here marks my willingness to give life one more try. I need to snap outta my gloomy gloomy mood and mind that i have been imprisoned in I have had enough!!! So yes, BE HAPPY ;) start by allowing yourself to be happy and things around will just get that bit happier ;)
This December is going to be a month I'm going to treasure,
I CAN.
& Lazy afternoons ...
7:26 AM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
As quickly as time would allow, as quickly as the sweeping wind that clears your path, it's DeCeMbeR 2009; we have come to the end of the first year in all its novelty.