Sunny days & Starry nights ... Sunday, March 08, 2009
sometimes i really wish that i'm just a normal student in a normal school, without all the pressure of achieving perfect grades and prestigious scholarships. I can do without squeaking clean brand names and wowing track records. I do not need looks of admiration from the people around me and neither do i need them to hold me in high regard. What i do not need more is for them to project a "straight-As" expectation on me and pass it off as something natural, like it's something that should be and should happen.
.
i'm cringing from the excruciating pressure coming at me. Having achieved 8A1s and having gone to a top-end JC does not mean i'm infallible and smart. I'm only human . And if i do not repeat my aweing records it does not mean i'm anything lesser. So yes, i'm satisfied now and should anybody try to make me feel less than what i am, i shall only stand staunch by my convictions.
And there is just something around me that's oddly bothersome. Perhaps it is not such a good thing after all to be surrounded by the many over-achievers. Perhaps it's the competitiveness of the environment and vying for the very best. I know i never really wanted to be part of the "rat-race", but i am always forced into it somehow. It's not any different now.
A part of me just want to settle for a decent course in uni and work my way up with peace. But by the looks of things now, that's nearly impossible. I've been once again "asked" to vie for the very best and hard-sell my qualities. And as i unwittingly start to compare myself with all the other candidates, i feel uncontented and unsatisfied again.
Can i never, just be left to pursue that simple , green pasture of mine?
& Lazy afternoons ...
12:49 AM :D
past