Sunny days & Starry nights ... Saturday, December 02, 2006
Whooooosh ~~ !!!
At last, i found a skin which i really like! Initially i was thinkin of gettin a phantom of the opera themed one, but decided on baby blues instead since i fancied none of the former. ALright, enough of all these droning, i just wanna say, i'm so excited that i can finally blog again! Yippeee!
In the twinkling of an eye, a hillload of events had already taken place, and a mountainload of thoughts had gone by. I shan't talk about them, but there is just one issue i would like to highlight and reflect on. Here it goes...
Sad to say, life after the Os hasn't been exactly the way i expected it to be. Well, i thought the life that i once had will be regained immediately and that i can bond with my friends with absolutely no obstructions. But ironically, there seems to be this anomalous barrier somehow between me, and the surrounding. An empty void. I just find it so difficult to communicate with ppl again after hibernatin for a month. Wheneva a chance to meet my friends pops out, i will subconciously avoid it and retreat to my own comfort zone. Sigh.. I guess i'm suffering from the aftermath of exams, a transient autism. Everyone seems to be enjoyin themselves, but i just feel that i am juttin out. Boo, but good news, i'm gettin' outta it! Heehee...
Can't say if these r regrets... missed class chalet, missed prom. Well, if i don't think about them, they don't bother me much since i am very used to being solitary already, but when i start to chat with some of my friends, images of the past just hook me and make me think about the old good days- the best moments i had while sittin' at the back and having the best laughs. All these seem so surreal now, like they r all a facade. Everythin' changed.People. Environment. Relationships. It's near impossible to wish that all things go back to how they were once like - when everyone has moved on and me, refusin to face the truth that i had to to. Ahh... how these feelins make me sick.
However, if i were to be more sanguine and look on the BRIGHT side, i will be movin on to another phase of my life soon, very soon. So i guess i'll just bury all the past hatchets and look on for a better tomorrow. I'm sorry for all the selfish decisions i made and things i've made a mess out of, but one thing for sure, i will live my life to the fullest from now.
Look ahead, and not behind. Ok, i feel like typin more... so i shall say more. Below r a list of events to look forward to!
1) Outin with sis+cous & Dinner with grandpere tmrw
2) Lunch with big family on Sun
2.5) Tentative meet-up with xl and wy
3) California trip from 9-25 DEC
4) Children Camp
5) Coussies return from Japan
6) New Year Party
7) Postin results ( i'm prepared for anything that comes my way)
8) Os results ( cross my fingers)
Hmm.. thats about all i guess. Ok it's one in the morning already, gotta sleep, nite!
& Lazy afternoons ...
1:20 AM :D
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
